Yes, I'm waiting for my second shipment of Involuntary Joy, but that is not what I'm thinking about when I write the word "waiting" tonight. This waiting relates to an acquaintance who, when I asked her what she was doing these days, responded: "I'm following God's lead and waiting on his timing."
I've spent a few days wondering about her comment--more specifically, wondering what a waiting state of existence looks like to God. Does God see our waiting as active or passive? Following God's lead sounds active, but waiting on his timing sounds passive.
My nagging question is this: How can we tell if God is waiting on us instead? Seriously. What if waiting on God is a game we play with ourselves. What if when we believe we are following God's lead, we are actually living in consecutive circles, repetitiously following impluses until something motivates us to pull out of the cycle and move forward.
Perhaps the moment we decide to move into a divergent track is the moment God's timing becomes ours--the moment we discover how to sync our life with divine leadings that we missed while circling past.
Truly, when we wait on God's timing, what exactly are we waiting for?
Can following God's lead take us to the destination that is "waiting"? Does God ever lead us to the place of waiting? And if so, is that because God knows we have something active to do while waiting? My questions reveal my desire. I want waiting to have a higher purpose or, at a minimum, know that waiting helped me develop some component necessary for growth.
But, still, I wonder...
Perhaps I just need to follow God's lead and wait for an answer. ;-) Or maybe not. I think I'd rather keep asking questions until I find one that propels me forward, or--better yet--step onto a path I've yet to follow.
What about you? What are you waiting for?