Saturday, November 8, 2008

At the Water's Edge

I feel that many areas of our lives are awaiting a faith plunge that will immerse us into a holy state of divine submission--the kind I reference in the last chapter of Involuntary Joy. Standing on the edge of deep waters, I'm not exactly sure when to leap. Or maybe I already have and am feeling the anticipation of mid-air suspension. Sorta like that commercial where the boy is digitally trapped in a mid-air cannonball until his mom develops her photos.

I'm intentionally using plural pronouns for it's difficult to separate what's happening in my life with what's happening to my family. I think it's unavoidable. After all, what's the saying? "If Mom's happy, the whole family is happy?" Consequently, if the adage proves true, my mid-air suspension encompasses our family as well.

Since mid-July -- when I went back to work full-time -- Mark has been doing a fantastic job resuming his Mr. Mom role: picking up the boy's after school, making supper as necessary, chauffeuring the boys to doctor appointments, moving laundry through the machines, and other assorted household duties. I'm not exactly loafing when it comes to domestic chores, but I simply don't have the time to commit to all the daily tasks I used to.

I don't have a choice right now anyway. The college needs my assistance. I need to help it bring in a large freshmen class next year.

I find the prospect invigorating; therefore, it must be how I'm to spend my energy these days. And I certainly don't want my efforts to be for naught. I want the college to have one of its highest enrollment years in recent history in spite of our country's economic downturn. This college fulfills a role in higher education that I've not witnessed among other academic institutions. And so I find myself in a situation where my passion matches a deep need. Not a bad place to be.

But then there's the reality of Stross' senior year. And the need for him to explore his job skills before graduating.

And the church's new pastor, caught in a brand of church politics that began long before his arrival and kept alive by church leadership who avoided the sometimes necessary scars of leadership.

And our sons' developing independence-the youngest outpacing the oldest.

And freelance clients who need my skills in portions equal to what I supplied prior to mid-July in spite of my lack of time.

And students -- in quantities more than one instructor should teach in a single class period -- who exhibit competing tendencies of intellectual abandon and educational engagement.

And my body's demand for regular sleep, healthy food and purposeful exercise (because I really do feel better when I maintain balance).

And finally the book -- Involuntary Joy -- always reminding me of my deepest connection to things that matter, a touchpoint that holds the precious milestones that brought me to this moment.

So here I stand. I can do no other. And I don't stand alone. My family--husband and sons--stand with me. I can't think of a time when that hasn't been so. What a blessing.

Please know that I continue to be grateful for a spouse who understands how to stand at the water's edge with me--holding my hand as we plunge into all areas of life that invite divine immersion.

Part of life's wild ride, I guess.

Amen. May it indeed be so.

1 comment:

Mrs. M said...

Wow! wow! what more can I say? I have missed reading you. for some reason I was stuck on December! I'm glad to catch up!