Relationships: Something to believe in

Over the holidays, someone told me they "don't believe in Facebook." I sorta wanted to laugh, as I don't "believe" that Facebook was designed for people to ever "believe" in it.

Facebook, like Twitter, MySpace and all other forms of social media, are tools for communicating and developing relationships.

I believe in relationships, for I believe we are a relational species; I also believe relationships exist in various forms. Therefore, why not via Facebook?

I think what the young man really meant was that he doesn't believe in spending time online or perhaps he doesn't believe in sharing information about himself in a public forum like Facebook. He may not even believe that the relationships that form through Facebook warrant his time or attention. Those are personal philosophies or beliefs. And, of course he is entitled to them.

I continue to believe in people and continue to feel compelled to share with those I am privileged to have a relationship with. For me, that includes those who might stumble upon whatever I place here as well as those who have chosen to regularly follow what I might post.

During Thanksgiving week, I began to create a list of topics that I am compelled to write or vlog on, because I am thankful for this new medium that allows me to share in a new way, through new forms of relationship. I trust you had a rewarding time of thanks as well. Perhaps you spent a day or two with those you share life with in some form of a relationship. And if your holiday gathering time was anything like mine, you had an opportunity to reflect on the nature of those relationships and how they are shaped by shared beliefs. Or maybe you (again, like me) realized that some relationships are actually shaped more by things you do not share.

I believe that's what I'll begin to explore and write about next. For I have been created to be in relationship and am compelled to understand what that means - both with those I regard as kindred spirits and those who are merely kin.

As always, feel free to share your thoughts as well.

You may be wondering why I posted a photo of my feet that I made while swinging. Well, I can point to this moment and remember what it felt like to be happy. I plan to be even more intentional about happiness this holiday season and throughout the coming new year. I believe happiness is the best measurement of a relationship, whether that relationship is between you and others - or even you with yourself.

So here's to your happiness, and to mine.

Thanksgiving Haircuts

Just after lunch three Thanksgivings ago, our family packed up Stross' room at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester and traveled to the Hotel Winneshiek in Decorah, Iowa, to spend the rest of the day recuperating from Stross' shunt replacement. His previous shunt had silently begun to fail, and this operation had been necessary to relieve his brain of pressure caused by a build-up of spinal fluid. We'd only discovered the life-threatening problem, because I'd realized he'd not had an MRI in several years and had requested one as part of his fall check-up at the Mayo Clinic.

Sometime I'll attempt to describe the mixture of gratitude, horror and disbelief we felt upon learning the results of his MRI. I'll also try to explain what it felt like to tell him "good night" during the weeks before his surgery, wondering if he'd awaken the next day. As the neurosurgeon had explained it, until Stross had the surgery, we ran the risk of the fluid placing enough pressure on his brain stem to stop his breathing as he slept.

Today, I'm simply remembering his haircut on that Thanksgiving holiday in 2006, for Stross chose that surgery as the reason to get his first Mohawk. His reasoning and ours had been that if they were going shave his head anyway, he might as well do it first, and with style.

Since then Stross has probably had about two or three additional Mohawk cuts - and those for no specific reason, really. Just because.

Yesterday Stross had a reason again, but I'll let him tell you why he's sporting a Mohawk again this Thanksgiving.

This vlog is for you Philip, Lynne and Jack. Philip, we're going to get our Christmas tree soon. We will always hold fond memories of having you join us on those outings when you were a student at Waldorf in the late 90s. It would be great to take your whole family with us this time. And, hey, there isn't any snow on the ground yet; so we could even let you drive without fear of you landing in the ditch. Please send your parents our greetings. All the way to Russia, with love.
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P.S. - After we checked into the historic Hotel Winneshiek that year - beautifully decorated for the holiday season - we let Stross take a painfully-late-dose-of-Tylenol nap before picking up a Mabe's Pizza. Our family enjoyed one of the most delectable Thanksgiving's Day suppers we've ever had.
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