Wednesday, October 7, 2009

If Life's About Winning, We're All Losers–My Corner of the Sky

"If life is about winning and being right, we're all losers." I hold that truth to be self-evident. I'm not as sure that another statement in this vlog is as easy to label as truth: "If life is about fitting in, we're all out of luck."

Not fitting in isn't really all that troublesome, is it? World events are shaped by fascinating people who are easily distinguished from their peers. They stand out because they are different from the rest–in a good way. And don't we all admire entertainers? Entertainers are driven by a desire to be seen as special somehow. Something deep inside them cries out for others to recognize that they don't fit in–but in a good way.

But for us everyday Joes and Joys, the concept of fitting in simply feels more complex, doesn't it? Our misfit times seem to coax us to travel a little farther down the road, as if our emotional wanderlust can help us determine if we are in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time.

Is that what's happening for me?

For me. Ah, yes ... for me.

What does any of this mean for me?

I feel a strong sense of vocational calling connected to this endeavor. I'm driven by a desire to share feelings that I believe are universal but, too often, are left unspoken. While it's not my vocation–not my job–to vlog, it is something I'm able to do that may meet a unique need. At least when I get feedback from readers/viewers, it feels like I've met a need somehow.

You'll note I'm a bit raw today - not fragile, but quietly pensive. Of course, I'm vlogging my feelings, so I'm aware on some level that's not such a quiet way to live. Yet I feel quiet despite what you see. You may also notice that when I'm trying to keep my voice from showing too much emotion (a.k.a., attempting to hide the fact that I might begin to cry at any moment), I start using a bit of an accent. Not sure what kind of an accent it is, but it seems to help keep my voice from wavering. It's an involuntary reaction - this accent. Something I've not noticed until this vlog ... but I recognized it when I saw it.

So here's to you - to all you winners out there who are looking for your place to fit in. We'll find it. I know we will ... and when life changes, we'll simply find it again.

With love to all you Carver's Singers alumni. I'm so blessed to still be standing by the tenor who always seemed to find his way to my side when the song required a partner.


Kati Potratz said...

Joy, I have no idea what you are talking about or going through, but you can fit with me anytime too! Hang in there. Oh, and here's my request for more singing blogs! :) You have a beautiful voice.

Pamela said...

I am so touched and humbled by your dedication. I have always tried to live my life and not let my cancer define my life; but sometimes the challenges emotionally and physically get in the way. Thank you for reminding me to "Sing It", I needed that reminder!
May God continue to bless you and yours and you touch so many lives!

Love and hugs,
Pamela Samuels